Joksters by Leah Jean
|Geez, what a bunch of joksters on the Rosenose! That's good because it sounds like some people are having some hard times also. Janell, hope Jr. is doing better.
Sounds like you all had some good times over in Arkansas too. Cindy told me that we have some very good musicians in the family. I'm sooooo envious that I didn't get to hear them play! ;)
Okay, my turn to put in a few jokes. But in a rather round about way.
Never got around to mentioning in Rosenose that some of us from work went to see Joan Rivers at ... you guessed it ... the Hippodrome Theater. [Getting to know that place pretty well.] It was a pretty full theater so we were ready to be entertained.
The opening act was a comedienne who used to open for the late great George Carlin. [Now that was someone I'd really liked to have seen.] This guy was good. He was obviously Jewish because he had the usual collection of Jewish mother, etc. jokes. And he had several restaurant jokes because ... like so many in his profession ... he'd spent a lot of time in them as a waiter. Gave him lots of material for his act. Unfortunately I can only remember only one of them. He was prattling along about how he hated people who would try to get his attention when he was already running around like a maniac handling dishes and drinks. His favorite response to people who called out "waiter!" to him was to rush by, look at them briefly and say "customer!".
There was one other more lengthy joke. Hopefully you all will have a better response to this then Henry did. :)
Three women ... a brunette, red-head, and a blond, escaped from a women's prison. They ran to a nearby farm and went into the barn. The possee was hot on their trail so they found several burlap sacks in a stall and each one crawled into one to hide. The sheriff came in with the others and started looking around. He paused by the sack with the brunette in it. He said, "We'd better check out this here bag." [Pick your own favorite accent.] The brunette, hearing this, went, "meooooooow". The sheriff didn't like the idea of being clawed so he left that bag alone. He went over to the bag with the red-head in it and kind of gave the bag a nudge with his foot. The red-head yelped out, "woof, woof"! The sheriff left that bag alone too fearing a bite. So he got to the one with the blond in it. He said to his compadres, "Someone needs to check out this bag." The blond thought for a second and then responded, "potato, potato". Needless to say she was taken back to prison.
Apology: Okay, as a rule I don't subscribe to the rather prejudicial "blond jokes". But I did like this one. :)
Then there was Joan Rivers. Ya know ... I'd only seen her on T.V. before over the years but had never heard her live. You've got to give her credit for being awfully spry for an eighty-six year old woman. She marched up and down that stage constantly moving and moving pretty fast. And she kept spouting out stuff nonstop for at least an hour, probably longer. So you definitely got your money's worth. But brother, does she have a mouth on her. And I'm not shy about using a 4 letter word once-in-awhile myself. But the "f" word came out of her mouth at least every 3rd sentence. Got real tiring after awhile. And I didn't realize how totally obnoxious she is. Okay, there were the jokes about old women who had certain parts of their bodies that sagged tremendously or their uteruses falling out so far down that they tripped over them when they walked (ugh). But a lot of her "humor" was at the expense of various groups of ethnic, racial, or other types of people. She started a kind of running monologue on people she can't stand being around and either telling them to leave the theater or move to the back of the theater so she didn't have to see them. She first started talking about how she hated going down to Mexico because the natives are so ugly and they smell. And after that she went after [from what I can remember] overweight people, handicapped people, etc. One of the things I had noticed before the show was that there were a few groups of gay men ... 4 sitting in front of us. So I kind of wondered if she was a favorite in those circles. At one point she did say that she liked gay people but then vehmently cried out that they were all stupid! One of the guys in front of us muttered something. I would imagine it was a flattering remark. It was about this time that I started checking out the audience and, yes, most everbody there was caucasian with a lot of elderly people. [Kind of wondered what they thought of all the foul language.]
Needless to say, I was VERY unimpressed with Joan by the time she was done. I almost didn't mind that I had trouble hearing her due to her raspy voice. Kind of felt like she was the Archy Bunker of standup comediennes.
There was one thing that was funny about watching Joan though. Remember my saying that she was constantly walking back and forth rapidly on the stage, covering all areas of the front? Well, the one thing that people in the front seats couldn't see was that she had cue cards laying on the floor all along the front of the stage behind pots of flowers. No wonder she walked back and forth so much because she was checking out what joke to tell next! Those of us in the balcony had no trouble seeing the cards.
At least I really enjoyed the first comedienne. :)
Hangin' with the family,